February 12, 2011

Valentine's Soapbox


"Love is the voice under all silences, 
the hope which has no opposite in fear; 
the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: 

the truth more first than sun, more last than star..." 


I usually don't say much about an article I don't like. I try to be polite in general. But I read this article on The Stir, and had to comment about how obnoxiously stupid I thought it was. I took it personally, maybe even more than I should.

To sum it up, the article explains why married women shouldn't celebrate Valentine's day. It's an extremely insightful list that points out pink makes girls look fat and flowers die. It all boils down to: Why bother? You're married, for crying out loud! The exact quote was, "Valentine's is the day we are supposed to prove our love to the person we're smitten with. Well, if you are married, don't you think that the act of getting married and sharing your everyday life with your husband is proof enough? "

No.
I don't think that.
Is that seriously a question up for debate?

Whatever the stories of bitter wives and husbands, or the jokes on sitcoms may be, I believe that marriage is supposed to be the most in-love part of life. We're supposed to be the most smitten with the one we've pledged our life to, the sweet constant for the rest of our days. It's the reason people want more than dating or engagements. It's supposed to be the best relationship. It's supposed to be more important than so many other things.

Yes, I'm frustrated that I don't have that yet. Yes, I'm angry. But even in the middle of anger or hurt, I cannot discount marriage so easily as the author of that article. My marriage does not define marriage in general. Things are possible. Love is real.

And because love is real, and because marriage should be love-filled, I think marriage is the most important time to celebrate a holiday set aside for it. I don't like chocolates wrapped up in cardboard hearts, and I don't like over sized stuffed animals that play a cheesy song. But what woman (or man) would turn down a chance to feel like someone cared about them? Who could look their spouse in the eyes and say, "Please don't show me affection today. We're married. It doesn't matter."

Marriage should be the greatest love story. It should be the biggest inspiration for poetry. It should be the safest and sweetest environment to pour out your heart and your soul. It should be joy that springs out into flowers and hearts, red and pink, cards and love letters.

It should be reason enough for a Valentine's day.


2 kind comments from you:

Whitney said...

i read that article. i didn't like it either. i'm not married yet, but i'm engaged. we probably do everything on that list. we get each other gifts, go out to eat, i wear pink (it's my favorite color), etc. it sounds like the person who wrote the article is bitter. it seems like the person writing the article is making it seem like a chore spending the time with your husband. which it isn't. it is a glorious thing.

Beka said...

ohmaword.
that is just wrong.
i mean....it's special! no matter if you've been married 1 yr or 60! what, marriage is as special as doing laundry now? wow. sounds like that's what they think.

i love this post.

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