Ugly Baby

As a first time mom-to-be, I worried about everything you could possibly dream of to worry about. I was scared of all the usual things. There was also a lesser worry in my mind, but the internet made it possible for me to ease it before I even held Millie in my arms.

I may or may not have gone to a super scientific website one sunny spring day, uploaded a picture of Sky and a picture of me, and winced as I pressed the "morph" button. I did this while Sky was still far away in Afghanistan, where he could not make fun of me. (He is the only guy I've done this with, by the way. I don't how how I knew we would have kids, but I didn't picture future children with anyone else. This makes is okay and not really creepy like it sounds.) I just had to know what my beautiful baby would look like someday.

Dear God in heaven.

There was my future child, staring me in the face. She was hideous. She was barely human. She was morphed from the two of us all right- she had my ugly nose and Sky's high and tight hair cut. I think she may have had some of his stubble and my lipgloss. I shuddered thinking about my precious, stubble-y baby.

Of course I would love her. I may not even know she was ugly. Then, another thought- what if I didn't know, but everyone else cringed at the sight of her?

Fortunately, if only in my eyes, I have one of the most gorgeous babies in the entire universe. Crisis averted.

Now, I have a new worry: she loves to chatter "babababa" and "dadadada". Not a "mama" in sight. I know it's only babble at this point, but I have some weird obsession with making mama her first word. I am tempted to use the tired phrase, "I gave birth to you, for crying out loud!" I over enunciate it for her, saying it slowly and carefully. "Millie, say MA-MA." She grins and says, "dadadada." As far as I know, there isn't a website to predict what her first word will be.

I think that's just as well.