May 24, 2011

Celebrate One

(In case you missed my guest post for Amber on Life Not Finished yesterday, I'm posting it here as well. 
If you've already read it, skip to the end for a special post script.
Also, if you haven't yet voted for me, you've only got 2 days left!)

In one second, I saw your face for the very first time. You were pinker and more scrunched up than I had imagined in all my daydreams. I heard you open your tiny mouth and let out a cry. I began crying too, because I knew that the world was such a beautiful place now that you were in it. I had never seen anything more lovely in all of my life. I couldn't wait to hold you in my arms, give you your first kiss, and meet the little girl I'd already loved for nine months.

In one hour, I could recognize your voice and separate it from any other newborn in the hospital nursery. I remember when they whisked you away for an exam soon after your were born. When they were bringing you back down the long hallway, I heard a cry and instantly knew it was you. Even at the time, I was amazed by the bond we had formed in so short of a time.

In one day, visitors poured into the room to see you. It began sinking in that I was a mother. Although I felt fiercely protective of you before you were even born, when they asked to hold you, I started to realize you were mine. How could such a perfect baby belong to me? I felt like you were always supposed to be by my side.

In one month, reality had officially sunk in. The flowers from the hospital had withered, the presents put away, the burp clothes and diapers stashed in every room of the house. And while there were days and nights of frustration, sleep deprivation, and tears, I was amazed how one sweet look or one small sound from you could turn my mood around in an instant.

In one year, one little girl changed my life more than anything else could. I went from carrying you in my belly, close to my heart, to holding you in my arms. I knew I would love you- of course I did. But I had absolutely no idea that I would love you this much- that love this strong was even possible. Maybe you'll be the only one, or maybe you'll be the oldest of your siblings, but either way, you've taught me that there is nothing on earth that can compare to having a child.

And in this one lifetime I have, I hope to live to an old age just to watch your life. Although I will miss the moments of this past year, I cannot wait to see how you'll grow into the most beautiful woman. I know you'll be kind and tenderhearted, and I know I will be immensely proud of who you become. But even when you have children of your own and have long forgotten what it felt like to be small, I will still be remembering that first second, first hour, first day, first month, and first year that we spent together.

There is also something I want so much to share with you today. Please click to this blog, and read about a couple special little girls- one who desperately needs help. To be honest with you, I have visited the Reece's Rainbow site only twice, because I honestly cannot do it without tears pouring. I would adopt every single one of those children if I could. It breaks my heart that such precious children- just as precious as Millie- don't have the simplest request a child could ask for- a family.


3 kind comments from you:

Ashley D. said...

This is beautiful, Erika. Really beautiful.

P.S. I left you a little something on my blog ;) Check it out!

vintch said...

this post is spectacular, and filled with such love and meaning. your little girl will look back on this and just love it. you're one special mama:)

beka said...

i've been voting for you the past couple days:) :)

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