November 21, 2011

The Progression


She's still a baby. That's what I tell myself. Two years ago this week, I found out that she would be mine. I remember it like yesterday, just like I remember the day she finally arrived. And here she is, nearly one and a half years old.

She still sleeps in her crib, clutching a stuffed monkey in one arm and a soft blanket in the other. She pushes my cheek with her hand when she needs my attention directed somewhere. She gleefully teeters from one room to the next now, squealing with delight, falling down, and begging for my arm to pull her up. She grasps my fingers and begins to walk again.

But in that moment where her hand leaves mine, I feel it.

Soon, her steps will steady and fall into a run. The words of the stories I read her will get longer until she doesn't needs my lap to sit in, or my chest to lean against as she points to the pages. Her own words will form more clearly and sweetly until we are speaking the very same language. She will stop calling me "Mimi" and trade it for "Mama", and one day she will even realize I have a name apart from "Mom". Scribbles and swirls will turn into the letters of her name in her own handwriting. The help she needs to tie her shoes and brush her hair will fade into memories I read about in my journal. Someday, she'll blush when I tell those stories.

I will be so proud of her, proud of every single accomplishment that no one else sees or understands. She'll be  breathtaking and brilliant. The years will be good to her. She will learn things I will never know and accomplish more than I ever can. And the growing up she does will shower me with the beauty and heartbreak every mother knows.

She is more mine and less mine every second.

14 kind comments from you:

Kayti said...

what a sweet post :)

Melissa Jaine said...

Oh sweetheart, that is so beautiful. And what a wonderful gift these blog posts will be for her when she is older.
mj.x

Sarah said...

I was thinking the same thing. :) Your words touched me and help me appreciate my own mom more. So beautiful.

Ashley said...

I completely understand. I look at Emma and I think the exact same thing. It's exciting and heart wrenching in the same breath.

greaterexp said...

When I read something that goes straight to the heart and makes me cry, I know it's the best. I look forward to seeing what you write about your grandchildren someday,should God keep me around that long to read it. This is a wonderful post!

Chantal said...

They grow up too fast!

MrsMcDancer said...

"Love you forever, love you for always, long as I'm living my baby you'll be" She'll always be your baby, just in a different way. For now, cherish these moments, but never fear, new amazing adventures await you both :-)

Rachel said...

oh lovie, this made me weep. this is such a lovely tribute to your little one. i hope one day that you read this at her wedding so that she realizes what an incredible mother you are.

Mrs.B said...

Beautiful. They grow up too fast.

gina said...

Yes she will (to your last little paragraph)--this was such a sweet post because for me, my daughter is almost 17, and I see a lot of my hard work as a mother and how I've shaped her, come into fruition, and it's a beautiful thing, let me tell you...when our babies become toddlers, our toddlers become adolescents, and then teenagers, and then adults...the progression is a sight for sore eyes. You are an incredible mother....
xoxoxo

beka said...

oh my word.
that last part got me, but the whole thing was breath-taking.

jakofhearts said...

This is beautiful. Had me in tears. It so perfectly captures my heart at this moment - that longing to keep them small forever, but loving all the new things their growing up brings. Best "job" ever.

The New "Normal" said...

So beautiful, made me tear up. They grow up way too fast, but it's a wonderful journey. If only they could stay little forever...

charla beth said...

oh my GOODNESS.
this made my heart ache in the best possible way.

once again, this is just gorgeous. between your love for millie + your way with words? you weave together the most beautiful stories.

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