July 23, 2012

30 Things Glamour Thinks I Should Have Done or Should Know

You've probably seen this article floating around the internet even if you don't read the magazine. I decided to try this list on for size in honor of Sky turning 30 last week (and the fact that I only have a couple years left in my 20s). Here's how I stacked up on the 30 Things list (taken from Glamour's "30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30"):

By 30, I "should" have ...
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
One who reminds me of how far I've come? Yes. One I'd go back to? No- because life takes twists and turns and I don't think it's good to put myself in that mindset.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Hmm. Sky and I have a newer couch and loveseat. They are decent. They are not the gorgeous, hand-me-down to grandkids type of furniture. But this is silly- there is plenty of time for those things.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
I'm going to say no. I basically have jeans and t-shirts now. I would love to have that dress, but there's not much need for it at the moment anyway.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Purse? I suppose, but I prefer carrying cheaper ones. A suitcase? Definitely not, but unless I had some cute, vintage boxy piece, I wouldn't care anyway- it gets thrown on planes and scuffed up. An umbrella? I probably have one somewhere, but always forget it when I need it. That's life!
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
I don't think fully, and I think maybe that's the way it should be. I'm okay with being a grown-up- the trade off of freedoms for responsibilities. But I'm so darn nostalgic. I don't like that people I love get older. I like the remembering of good things from the past. I hope I never quite move beyond that.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
Nope. That means I may need to work on it a bit more, but also that I will have less regrets.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
The realization is there. The money is not. But I'm still in my 20s. I have a child. Debt is being paid off as quickly as possible. An emergency fund is being built up. All of our credit cards were cut up years ago. I hope to be able to focus on the long term someday, but the shorter term goals of debt payment and day to day living are what we have to go with for now. And yet with all that- it's quite likely we'll never have much, but if we have enough, we'll be just fine.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
Yes, yes, and no. Sky and I have a joint accounts. Married couples do all sorts of different things, but this is what works for us.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
I have never once padded my resume. I think for my education level, etc., I have done well with the jobs I have had in the past. I strongly prefer my current job of stay at home mom (and part time house cleaner) to the desks and dress pants of before, however. Hopefully I will be able to add a degree to that resume in the future!
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
Not really. I can think of a friend who can almost always have me laughing, but we rarely see each other anymore. She has work and a boyfriend, and I have a baby, and those things don't seem to combine easily. I miss her a lot. I definitely don't have a friend who lets me cry- the online friends I have are awesome about letting me vent and talking with me, but as for a literal shoulder to cry on- no. I wish I had more people I could call and ask them to come over, but I'm such an introvert, so if anyone is to blame, it's me.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
We (Sky) have a set of a bunch things shoved in a toolbox, so I will say yes to the screwdrivers. No to the cordless drill, but we live in an apartment, so not much handyman stuff to get done. A black lace bra? I'm a lady. I don't post about those things!
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
No. I would feel nothing but guilt for doing something like that, especially with how things are right now.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
I believe people deserve certain things- clean water, enough food, healthcare, shelter, freedom, etc. I don't think anyone should have the sense of entitlement that makes them think they "deserve" a $100,000 car or something.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
I take care of my skin pretty well. I never exercise consciously, although I like to swim and go on walks with Millie and Sky. I know as I get older things will end up in different places. Wrinkles will line my face. My hair will turn into sprinkles of whites or grays. I don't plan on covering up the different kind of beauty I'll own later in life. When I'm a grandmother, I hope I look like a grandmother.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
I am nowhere near a career- I'm a mother who stays busy mothering, and hopes to stay busy homeschooling in the future. Even if I am able to complete a degree, that probably won't change anytime soon. The relationship that Sky and I have is lightyears better than it was a couple years ago, but it also needs a lot more work. I hope that life in general improves greatly from where it is now.
By 30, you should know ...
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
I think finally, yes.
2. How you feel about having kids.
I think I have this one down! Sky and I really hope Millie will have a little sibling.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
I've quit jobs, initiated break-ups, and I hate confrontation so I can't say I'm practiced on that one.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
I think that's something you have to keep learning, but I have learned a lot in the past.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
The secretary of state is Hillary Clinton. My great grandmothers on my mother's side are Faye and Mae, but I can't remember the names on my father's side. I've only taken something to the tailor's once (my dress for the ball), but I suppose that counts.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
Yes- and actually, I loved living alone. I felt very much in my element and full of adventure.
8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.
I haven't figured that out at all- and this might be one of the things on this list that actually hit me hard. My soul needs soothing quite often due to depression, and I usually end up feeling a bit lost and alone during those times.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
I have long legs, no hips, and my parents are pretty great people. There may be tiny flaws about all three of those things, but I don't care a bit.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
This seems much like #5 in the first section...but I will say that no one's childhood is perfect, and neither was mine, but it made me who I am. The goal of all parents is (or should be) to improve on the childhood they had.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
I would say for the most part, I've got a handle on both. Sometimes, I've been surprised on the love part, though.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
I think I learned that from the time I was little- my parents did a pretty good job of explaining those things! Although I do slack a bit on the flossing from time to time.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
That's something you learn as you go. And I take most things personally even though I shouldn't. I need to work on that part.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Maybe. But sometimes humility in that way is stronger than standing your ground. It definitely depends on the situation. 
15. Why they say life begins at 30.
I don't think I'll figure that out. I am beginning to learn that, while it's better to do certain things at certain times (i.e., I wish I could be done with college by now), it's never too late to do any of them....except having children in your 70s. That's kind of weird.

So what about all of you? Are you up to speed on Glamour's list? I think some of it is good, but a lot of it is just like the silly benchmarks we all place on ourselves and get upset if we don't reach (i.e., "I'm 30 and I don't own a house so I must be a loser!). I may have not aced what they deem good to know/do by my age- but I'm okay with it.

I'll answer your questions from this post later this week!

11 kind comments from you:

greaterexp said...

Those kinds of surveys are why I don't read magazines! I did, however, appreciate your comments and answers. I'm glad you pointed out the silliness and emptiness of so much of what the world places so much importance on. A purse? Furniture? For pity's sake! Thank goodness you've got a better head on your shoulders than that! Your heart is in the right place!

Chantal said...

That's an interesting list. I like the most philosophical stuff, not the material things. I am proud to say we are building up our furniture collection though!

Mrs. Nix said...

"A black lace bra? I'm a lady. I don't post about those things!" Well, I guess we know the answer to THAT question. ;)

Jamie said...

Love this! I did this too a couple weeks ago right before I turned 30!

Mrs. Wookie said...

Oooo, I actually like this (although I don't read Glamour)...looks like I'm about to steal it. :)

Mrs.B said...

Some of them I really liked and some of them make me wonder about the author.

I love your answers though!

Amanda said...

Love your answers! While I don't think this list is meant for us girls not living in a big city... It's kind of cool to think back on life. Especially since you still have time till 30!

Oh and hope all is well with you. Just got caught up on my blogs. While I can't pretend to know what it is like for you to have rough times, please know that I am thinking about you, blogger friend!

Michelle said...

Loved this! I'm right there with you on so much of this. So much of this stuff is so silly, and it puts unnecessary pressure on us to figure our lives out in a certain time frame. You definitely have the right perspective :)

applesandglue said...

New reader and I really like this... hope it's okay if I try this out on my blog too... will give credit, of course! :)

ginanorma said...

Pretty much that list is crappola! AHAHAHAHA give me a BARAKE! I love your commentary--this post should be published in a magazine:o Maybe even Glmaour?

I mean what does number 9 even mean, about the resume? Padded? And 10...awww, I trust you will have more friends around you eventually, everyone needs a shoulder to cry on;)

Number 15 about the career? Riot, not quite. I pretty much failed the glamour test my life is so different than any of that!


Anonymous said...

I saw this article in Glamour and thought a lot of the same things...

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