November 26, 2012

Boom Boom Boom

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold." 
— Zelda Fitzgerald

Some people believe life starts at conception. Some believe when a baby can survive outside the womb. And some don't believe until the baby is held up to cry with that first gasp of air. 

But I can tell you the moment I became a mother, and it's none of those.

After long weeks of  morning sickness only being broken by migraines, pregnancy fades. You don't feel like you are home to a growing baby. You feel sick and exhausted, and that's all that seems real.

One day, at the doctor's, you're told they probably won't be able to find a heartbeat this early, but they'd like to try just in case. They ooze cold gel onto your belly and move the wand around in slow, deliberate motions. You hear little whooshes that make you sure there is no baby, but whales calling to each other.

And then? And then the wand rolls over a perfect spot, and you hear the booms. The tiny, pattering booms of the one you haven't quite believed was there until this moment. And the doctor tells you it's strong and you beam. The room floats away and the only thing left is that beautiful sound.

That's the moment your own heart stops. And that's when, if only for a a few precious seconds, you forget the rest of the world. That's your baby. That's the heart you'll know in a just a handful of months. That's the heart you love more than your own already.

14 kind comments from you:

Alissa said...

Such a sweet post!

Marcella{The Life of a Military Family} said...

So so true, love it!!

Jane said...

Ahh you're giving me baby fever! I can't wait for that!

Jen said...

Love this! :)

beka said...

breath-taking. <3

Allie said...

That feeling is still a few years away for us but I cannot wait! Beautiful post.

Chantal said...

Yes! It's a magical feeling. And so comforting, too.

Allison said...

Beautiful post! We waited for two years to be able to experience that. We were finally able to a few weeks ago. This mama is already smitten!

Karen said...

Best feeling in the world :) I love hearing that little heartbeat.

Brittany Sommer said...

Lord you just made me bawl!

Paulena B. said...

OH! I remember the first time I heard my little guys heart beat. It was pure joy! Thanks for sharing with me! Brought tears to my eyes and chills down my arms.

Holly Robertson said...

<3

Michelle said...

So gorgeous. I can't even imagine!

charla beth said...

this brought tears to my eyes. soo happy for you, darling<3

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