January 28, 2013

Traces


"How quick and rushing life can sometimes seem, 
when at the same time it's so slow and sweet and everlasting." 
— Graham Swift

The peach fuzz hair. The baby coos and gurgles. Those first hopeful, wobbly steps towards me. I know they all were there. They happened. But I couldn't remember.

I spent the evening watching videos of all these things, looking at a little girl I barely recognized. She's changed so much since the days of enormously puffed, rosy cheeks and silly, one tooth smiles.

It made me a little sad, thinking about all that had happened since that first day together. I wondered if I would have such a poor memory when it comes to this little one. I am already certain I will. I didn't know then that it would be like the flash of a camera, gone before I knew it and stinging my eyes from the brief burst of light. So instantaneous and bittersweet.

And yet, that's the beauty of it. That it only comes once. And it goes so quickly. And that I was privileged enough to be there in those moments, holding the baby who has become a thousand different people since that July day.

Those smallest of days are forever out of reach but always in sight. Even though they are gone, their traces are enough.

8 kind comments from you:

Jamie said...

What a great post.

Nicole Marie said...

Beautiful.

Chantal said...

They grow up so fast. We watched some of Penny's videos this weekend too.

beka said...

i was about to tell you that within another few breaths you take (or so it will seem), she'll be almost 13 and a spunky little thing. sigh.
that's what it's been like for me, watching my youngest sister grow up! man oh man.

Fran said...

You just wait until she's a teenager and trying to date boys - little does she know I won't allow boys in her until she's at least 30.

Karen said...

They definitely grow up too fast. I want to preserve every moment with Nora.

jax from the harmon squad said...

Again, such a beautifully written post!! Today I was looking at photos from the hospital when Oskar was born and was tearing up, it goes so fast!

Gina Norman said...

xo

love you girl.

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