February 5, 2013

A Letter to Myself

"Sometimes I need
only to stand
wherever I am 
to be blessed." 
— Mary Oliver

Dear you,
Things have been topsy turvy and tiring lately. You need a break. 

So take one via the lovely London mug from Target that seemed to say, "Erika, I was made for you!
This is love!" in a tiny, mug-like voice. It looks best full of coffee, cream, and sugar, snug in hand.
It is meant to be filled and refilled every morning without fail.

This chick. Yes, she has forgotten the basic sleep functions of human life, but don't think about those now.
Think of silly grins like these, of the moments at the park where she tripped and would come running to her mama, swift and unashamed, needing to get a kiss that would make everything right again. 
Think of the carousel ride you two took tonight on the "reindeer" that was really just a every day deer.
Think of the way she lifts her hands up to you, saying, "Carry you?",
and how that actually means that she needs carried.

And last but not least, think of the one you've only seen a few fuzzy black and white photos of, who already pushes and kicks to be remembered. Think about the first hour in the hospital room and how alive everyone will feel in those moments. Think of the first time this little one's eyes open up and meet your own.
Remember how blessed you are, how sacred this is, and how it will be over and gone in a heartbeat.

This time is getting into the real-life, gritty stage- as you knew it would.
But focus on these things, and on the text messages from an Army boy in another state,
and the notes and comments and phone calls from all the military spouses and blog friends you know
that seem to get you in a way that no one else can and who truly understand.

Live off these. Breathe them in.
And close your eyes at night with the fluttering hope of it,
because you're one day closer than you were before.

11 kind comments from you:

Jen said...

Your writing is absolutely amazing! I love reading what you write, very inspiring.

Mel said...

Can I tell you that you have the cutest pregnant belly ever!? You're one of those ladies that carries pregnancy so well.

Oh, and this letter? It's all true. Have you tried prenatal yoga for bedtime relaxation and nerve-calming?

Chantal said...

I love this letter! And your photos are beautiful :)

Gina Norman said...

i love your sweet letter to yourself, make a copy and put it in your pocket, i have a feeling you are hard on yourself?

cauuuuuuuute mug!

I'm glad you are being mindful about the blessings and gifts. Have you ever read One Thousand Gifts?

greaterexp said...

Sweet. Our company may start attending some trade shows, many of which are in London, Paris, Italy. Hmmmmmm. Don't you feel intensely interested in fabric suddenly?

beka said...


1. that mug is the bomb.
2. your sweet girly is so sweet. i'm so glad you have her!!
3. your baby bump is adorable. you look so good! <3

Anonymous said...

Ah my darling - just catching up on my reading.
Sometimes I want to fly in and whisk you away to ole Londontown for a bit of a knees up. Timing isn't right just now, but one day, yes?
You and your girl (girls? :) are beautiful.

Michelle said...

This is gorgeous. That mug WAS made for you, and those pictures are GORGEOUS.

Brhea {noplacelykehome.com} said...

Such a great letter to yourself. Pregnancy does you good, btw :)

Kim said...

Beautifully written. Loving the pictures. :)

Holly Robertson said...

I love they way you write.
I'm also insanely jealous of your mug. I almost bought paris! lol.
Your bump is so Adorable! Both of your babies are. It's so wonderful that through it all you have so much joy in your life.

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