February 27, 2013

First Baby and Second Baby


I've always heard that each pregnancy is different, and I have to admit I would roll my eyes a bit. After all, no matter if it's my first or my tenth, I'm still going through the process of carrying a baby, right? While there haven't been any monumental changes during this pregnancy compared to my first, there are a lot of smaller things that actually are quite different...and here is my list so far. It's the one post I'll do on the physical things until the birth, so don't worry.

Firsts:
First Baby: I had a few early symptoms, and one night, Sky and I were up until past midnight, talking about "what if?" He finally told me to take a test, and I yelled for him to come and see the results. There was hugs, kisses, and there was lots of shock on my part.
Second Baby: I had some faintness a couple days before, and then felt the rest of what I felt the first time. I told Sky that I should probably take a test. A day or two later, I did after Millie went to bed, and was less surprised but still a bit overwhelmed and very excited.

First Baby: I felt Millie first kick just a couple days before the ultrasound at 18 weeks or so.
Second Baby: I was told I should be able to feel this baby sooner, but even though I thought I may be feeling movement around 14 weeks, I didn't feel that first definite kick until 18. The midwife told me it was because of the way the placenta is positioned this time (anterior).

First Baby: I had a only-noticeable-to-me bump the first trimester, but seemed to go from flatness to roundness fairly quickly, and definitely looked pregnant by 20 weeks.
Second Baby: I looked puffy only a couple weeks after finding out, but it (mostly) disappeared and then reappeared as a little roundness. It feels much bigger than it looks, but I'm really right where I was the first time around- I actually weighed less at the beginning of this pregnancy than I did the first time.

First Baby: Sky held my hand during the ultrasound and we watched amazed.
Second Baby: Duty calls. So while Sky is gone with the Army, a friend in town offered to keep me company during the ultrasound. It was still amazing, and I called Sky about it afterwards.

Pregnancy:
First Baby: Just a little morning sickness, lots of migraines, no interest in food except for a few cravings here and there.
Second baby: A lot more morning sickness, some migraines, and no interest in food again.

First Baby: Craved chocolate milk (the pre-made kind), lots of pancakes, and, towards the end, strawberry cream cheese. Couldn't stomach any Italian food, which is usually my favorite. Just the thought of lasagna made me almost lose it.
Second Baby: Not as many cravings but I have a few more months to go. I like fruit earlier, and drank  grapefruit juice and Sprite cocktails when I felt especially nauseous. Can't stomach meat too often, especially sandwich meat and bacon. Right now, root beer and V8 juice have been hitting the spot.

First Baby: Slathered lotion and oil on daily. They say it's all genetic, but I only got a couple stretchmarks (and only at the 39th week, gosh dang it!), and they're hardly noticeable.
Second Baby: Slathering it all on again! Fingers crossed on this one.

First Baby: Saw my family practice doctor for the pregnancy and first year of Millie's life.
Second Baby: I heard wonderful things about the midwives at my hospital, so I'm seeing them this time. The first one I met (and the only male, thank goodness) was British and a dead ringer for Ringo Starr. I met a lady that I really liked last time, and I have an appointment this week for yet another (our hospital has patients meet every midwife so they will "know" the person on call during birth).

First Baby: Found out we were having a girl and proclaimed it to the world immediately. I don't remember keeping the name a secret for very long, if at all.
Second Baby: We're fairly certain this is our last baby, so to do something different, we decided to not find out the gender this time. I think the only thing that could even come close to topping the indescribable joy of meeting your child would be to have that sweet surprise, too. It's strange for me to feel kicks and not know who is kicking me, though. We have a boy's name picked out, but we're back and forth on girl names.

First Baby: Regular deodorant.
Second Baby: Extra-strength deodorant. Enough said.

Nostalgia:
First Baby: Received a "One Line a Day" 5 year memory book to keep track of Millie's daily happenings. I've written in it faithfully every day.
Second Baby: Hoping to get one this time, too. I don't want to do anything less for this baby.


First Baby: I worried all the time that something would be wrong, that she wouldn't be kicking enough- anything in the realm of possibility scared me. I've never felt so protective in my life.
Second Baby: I don't worry quite as much since everything with Millie was fine, but I still do occasionally. Pregnancy makes you so aware of how much this little life depends on you. It's probably good that I just don't have time to worry as much.

First Baby: No matter what I was doing, who I was talking to, etc., the only thing running through my mind was, "I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant." It was impossible to not think about it.
Second Baby: I constantly forget. Not in big ways, like taking medicine I shouldn't, but chasing a two year old around doesn't give me a lot of time for quiet reflection! Even so, it's just as special this time. The calmer evenings when I feel those little kicks are really valuable to me.


Education and Help:
First Baby: Watched "The Business of Being Born".
Second Baby: Watched "More Business of Being Born". (For the record- they are not movies I necessarily agree or don't agree with- it's just interesting stuff.)

First Baby: Sky and I took a childbirth class, but weren't mature enough to keep straight faces through it. I could tell you the story, but it's probably not worth the time it takes to type!
Second Baby: Not a chance.

First Baby: Hired a doula, meeting with her a few times before labor. It was amazing to have someone else to be there for me, especially after being surprised at how little the nurses actually checked on me.
Second Baby: Met with a doula in January, but because she is more experienced, her fee is more than double that of my first doula (discounted- normally, it's triple). Not looking forward to a birth without one, but it may end up that way.


The end of 9 months: 
Both babies: Having gone through these things once before, I can say that I don't look forward to labor any more than the first time- maybe less, to be honest. It's scary for me, and it's not easy. But more than anything, I cannot wait to feel that overpowering love and amazement when I get to hold my baby for the very first time. Love at first sight would be an understatement. There isn't a feeling on earth like that moment. And any difficulties along the way are worth it after that first cry.

Updated- first published as a guest post on My Life as a Sailor's Princess.

If you have a few kiddos, did you notice differences between pregnancies?

6 kind comments from you:

Stacy Fiore said...

I have three babies, 1 girl and 2 boys and my pregnancies with the boys were almost identical but completely different from my pregnancy with my daughter. I craved so much junk food with her and only healthy stuff (and coffee) with the boys.

I think it's amazing that you're waiting to find out the sex. We wanted to know with all three but our daughter (also our first baby) was stubborn and we had no idea until the day she was born. Although, I thought that there was no doubt she was a girl (um she craved ice cream every day).
There is nothing that can replace that feeling in the delivery room when you find out if that sweet baby you carried all those months is a boy or girl.

Karen H. said...

I am currently pregnant with our second child - a little girl this time around. The difference between this pregnancy and my first (a boy) is staggering. I was fairly sick with my little boy but this pregnancy is a completely different story. I was so sick that I didn't even gain weight until I was almost halfway. I am finally rounding the corner and starting to feel somewhat normal. My placenta is also anterior this time around so I am not feeling as many kicks as I did with my son. I also sometimes forget that I am pregnant too!

Karen


www.andthenwelaughed.com

Audrey said...

The biggest difference between my two pregnancies was not finding out the gender on the first and then finding out on the second. I was always a BIG TIME believer in not finding out. The only reason I found out the second go round was I had a number of miscarriages and, during a CVS test (because they thought something might be wrong with the baby), I caved and begged them to tell me. I think I'd had enough surprises!!! And, I was shocked....because I'd say I preferred finding out. I felt like I knew her better and was already familiar with her when she came out. Still, the surprise after that first labor will always be the biggest surprise of my life! There were so many differences between the two pregnancies and two labors....too many to list....but finding out the gender will always be the biggest difference!

Allison said...

I can't stomach very much meat either. I think D is getting really tired of eating chicken whenever I cook meat dishes because that's the only meat that tastes good to me right now.

Rhe Christine said...

WE didn't find out with this last little one either. it was really hard for me, but the hubby has never wanted to find out so this was a little surprise. We have both a boy and girl, so we thought why not. It was a pretty surreal experience, the whole part about not knowing. It was so overwhelming.

I never used a doula..although I've heard good things. I just prefer me and the hubby, and there's not a whole lot of need for nurses and doctors to check on you, which I actually kind of prefer.

And just a little nugget to pass on to maybe help ease your mind - each delivery/birth experience got progressively easier. The real trick is having a body that knows what its doing because its been there, done that :)

Kat said...

I have always heard about the differences in two pregnancies but the extent is just crazy! aside from small things and obvious things there is just the way i feel overall - less strong, more tired, etc. It's nuts how different things can be when you're doing the same thing.

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