Rest

"The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. 

That's where you need to go." 

— Elizabeth Gilbert

I've gotten tired lately- tired of school work and housework, packing up my shoes and his hats into boxes that are too heavy, trips to the doctor, change of address forms, overdue essays, contractions and worries, French fries for my supper, and thinking up twenty different ways to tell a little girl that I want to play, but I can't. I've gotten tired to the point of tears and then past that point, into a daze of exhaustion. It's a soul kind of tired.

Tonight, I had to stand in her room, the ceiling fan spinning lazy circles above us and the sound of an Illinois Central train whooshing by our town. I had to look at her sweet, soft face made even softer in the 9 o'clock dark. I had to listen to the ins and outs of her quiet breathing. And feel her peace and constantness assure me of all the things I don't know. Even assure me that it's okay to not know them.

She is my rest in nights like these. Sometimes it seems that she has more wisdom in her sound asleep two years than I have in my twenty eight restless ones. It feels good to learn this way.