March 31, 2014

The Silence Between

"The music is not in the notes,
but in the silence between." 
— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Open Blogger. Watch the line blink at me. Type out of order notes on posts I'll get to later. Close Blogger.

This is all I've accomplished with blogging for two weeks now. It's an eternity in blog land (because heaven forbid we mess up virtual stats in some far away virtual world). Some readers probably wondered if I was still alive. Or if I was about to write the ominous post that announced I was quitting blogging forever.

I have things I want to say. But lately, I don't have the words to say them. There are stories in my heart that I want to tell you, and yet, I can't seem to gather them together and put them on this page. And to be truthful, I have been thinking a lot about giving blogging up for good. Some people- many people- blog long after the words have run dry, and I don't want to be that girl.

But I know myself this much: that I will need a moment to be still. To live life without any thought of blogging it later. To step back and choose my words intentionally and deliberately. To savor the way that they taste in my mouth, the way they feel in my hand, the way they appear in tiny black lines and curves. Give me this time- this night, or these few days, or another week.

And then, I will need to write again. Because to announce that I will not write is to announce that I will not breathe anymore. I started with pink journals, the kind with the tiny locks on them to hold in all the secrets, when I was nine years old. I wrote in them for years, and then began writing poetry. And I've blogged before it was ever socially acceptable to admit that I had a blog. Writing is a compulsion, not a hobby.

Until then, as Will Rogers said- "Never miss a good chance to shut up."

8 kind comments from you:

Kaylee said...

I have journals from when I first started writing, about what kind of sandwiches I ate and who played the princess on the playground that day. I have loved writing things down, seeing my thoughts form on paper. It has always been so good for my soul. Maybe it's time to pull out my physical journal again, and start there, and maybe the words will come better on my online space too.

Jen said...

I have always loved writing my thoughts down, it has always been a way to express myself without feeling judged.

Alissa said...

Take all the time you need. The blog will wait. You are more important than blog stats.

Mrs.B said...

Take all the time you want. Blogging will always wait.

Chantal said...

I've taken some time to sit back and enjoy LIFE, not virtual life. It's been freeing.

Michelle said...

Love this. I've had similar thoughts about blogging lately.

Anonymous said...

My pink, locked journal had a teddy bear on the cover. He held a balloon. Thinking of that silly thing (filled with the drivel of a young girl who didn't know how to think for herself) reminds me how essential writing is to me. It may not be an every day thing, but it's an always thing. Enjoy your time. I look forward to hearing more from you.

ash schlax said...

you just wrote where my heart is so much better than i ever could right now.
you inspire me, friend. i'm so glad we found each other.

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