May 31, 2009

War and Peace

I woke to it, groaned a little, and considered leaving my warm blankets just to stomp loudly across the floor to start a pot of coffee, hoping the percolation would make more noise than the yelling downstairs. I reminded myself it was only the second time since I moved in. Still, a two week average doesn't seem so hot. The way their voices rose to a higher pitch-hers getting drawn out in tears, his more staccato as his writer's mind drew up convincing bullet points- it all seemed so tired and overplayed. When I heard something thud against a wall from being flung across a room, I pulled the covers over my head like I did for storms as a kid, and drifted back to sleep.

After I got up an hour later to get some coffee and toast, I reflected on it all. Do most couples fight this often? I have little to compare it to-the few couples I know who argued often were toxic, and either should never have been together, or should have been adult enough to get over it. All of these ended up splitting and leaving a disaster in the their wake. Some have personally impacted me in such a way that I feel a little bit of bitterness and fright, even at 24 years old, when I hear it all again.

The other side is myself. The fights I've had haven't been for a long time, though. I hear people talk about being really annoyed with their friends, and I can't relate. I don't think I my friends and I-and I mean that collectively, from preschool until today-have ever had a blow out. More often than not, the people talking about fighting with their friends are people I could see fighting with a rock.

Relationship wise, I'm not a fighter either. I can tell you the solitary thing I've thrown at a wall, and it was just as well. I hate screaming matches with a passion and do my best to avoid them. In fact, the absence of this has actually annoyed a couple guys. I think my lack of interest in rehashing old issues unnerved them.

I guess I don't understand the importance of it. What in life means that much? And why can't something be discussed calmly and even quickly, instead of a rampage over dirty dishes or simply out of boredom? The best thing to do in a fight, in my opinion, is to make a crazy, silly face at the other person. It puts things in perspective for a second.

Sky and I haven't had a fight yet. Maybe we're just able to get along great, maybe we don't want to argue with such a great distance between us, or maybe both. I am sure, once he's here in town, that he will be tempted to grab me by the shoulders and shake me. I honestly don't know yet how he handles things.

But, a word of warning to him-I have plenty of silly faces. I am not afraid to use them.

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