September 25, 2009

A Fake Grown Up

"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like,'What about lunch?'" -Winnie the Pooh

The whole day, I thought about home. I thought about it throughout work and even during lunch with my dad. I watched the clock, tapped my fingers, and sighed heavily. When I finally drove home and walked into the room where they all were, I saw a smile and heard the now-familiar "Erika!" I left a quiet house this morning. I came home to a family.

I've come to revel in the imperfection, the messiness- chocolate from the chocolate chip cookies smeared on a couch, army guys set up in no particular rank, piles of pillows and stuffed animals. There's some kind of comfort in kids movies in the background, sippy cups on the table, and yells of, "Do it again!" The first time Ayden and Chase set up camp here, I was at a loss. By the time they left, I stood in the hallway and soaked in the silence uncomfortably. They were here for a few short days, and I already had to remember how to live the way I had before. Funny how that seems to be the case with everything Sky touches.

There is something about having them around that brings out the oldest and youngest parts of me. I remember how my parents were so old when I was little. Somehow, they have gotten younger the more I've grown. They were always so capable, so right. I realize now it is mostly an act. I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time. But the trust that they have in me gives me enough confidence to act like it. The flip side is the chance to act like I'm five, or laugh like I'm five.

Laughing like you are five is so underrated.

1 kind comments from you:

Dena said...

a real grown up

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