January 15, 2010


Who could refrain that had a heart to love
and in that heart courage to make love known?

It is the night before I'm getting married, but instead of doing last minute things that I probably should, I'm blogging. I guess it's that my heart is full of other people's hearts tonight.

On Monday morning, Sky and I went to my doctor's for another prenatal visit. I had looked forward to this one more than the others- this was the first chance to hear the baby's heartbeat. I unbuttoned my pants and laid back on the cold table, and she dabbed a bit of gel onto me. I was afraid it would take minutes (or light years in waiting) to find it, or that she wouldn't at all. Instead, she pressed the monitor to my stomach and nearly immediately, there it was.

Whooshing thumps filled the room, and no one breathed. I looked over and Sky and we smiled. The doctor said, "Pretty cool, huh?" and told us that everything sounded great. Within a couple minutes, the appointment was over, but I walked around with my head in the clouds the rest of the day. That very moment is when I finally started to realized that I really am pregnant, and I suddenly thought that it was the best thing in the world.

And armed with the best wedding present in the universe-the heartbeat of the two of us combined-Sky and I are going to finally wear our rings and say our vows and officially be together forever. It's surreal in some ways, and feels long overdue in others. Part of me wanted to marry him right there on that porch in Flora.

So goodnight for the last time as Erika Smith.

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