June 26, 2010

Amelia's Letter

My dearest baby girl,

Where do we begin this conversation, our first? How do I have so much to say to you but so little idea of how to say it? You are tangled up in so many of my emotions that it's hard to spell it out the way I want.

In one month, you'll be here. Instead of your cramped, make-do cradle inside my belly, you'll be scooped up in my arms in just a matter of days. Though you already have a personality with all your kicking and wiggling (which your father and I often laugh over), I cannot wait to meet the real, complete you- not just any baby, but my daughter.

I think about you every single day, and have so many hopes and fears for you. Everyone I know is ready to meet you. We talk about the kind of girl you're going to be. Your dad and I have set up the nursery and packed the hospital bag. I look at your empty room sometimes, and think about how it will look soon- a little pink bundle sleeping in the crib, rocking with me at night, or playing on the floor. You'll have all sorts of pretty dresses and bows and ribbons, and you and I will have so much fun doing girly things that your dad just won't understand. But I know he'll be the best dad you could ask for, and that you'll love him just as much as I do. He already talks to you and tells you how much he loves you. I can't wait for us to be a family.

I already know that I don't deserve you- that you will be more amazing, more beautiful, and more strong than I can even imagine. I hope that we can have mutual patience with each other, and that with every time you cry, you can realize that even when I can't fix it, I will want to and that I will do anything in my power to soothe you. I want to give you more comfort than anything else in this world can give you. I want to let you bury your face in my shoulder and inhale peace every time you need a hug. I want to sweep tears off of your cheek and make you smile.

Do you know how many kisses I've saved for no other person on this earth but you? Do you realize that we haven't officially met, but I would already give my life for you? I hope, if you learn nothing else from me in this life, that you at least fathom the depth of love I have now for you, and how it will somehow grow and grow for the rest of your life.

You and I both know that I'm not quite sure how to be a mother, but I know that you will teach me. We'll learn new things together every single day, even when you grow up and become a mother yourself. But for the years until then, your father and I will be holding your hands and loving you to pieces through it all.

Love always,
Your mother

4 kind comments from you:

jamila said...

this made me cry! it has been such an honor experiencing your pregnancy with you <3 thank you for sharing

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

This is such a precious letter!

Kayla Sue said...

what a beautiful letter! I can't wait for her to get here so your love for her expands like you wouldn't believe!!

Rachel Smith said...

This is one of the most beautiful things I've read in my entire life Erika.

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