January 21, 2011

Everything is in Motion

"You can't save everybody. 
In fact, there are days when 
I think you can't save anyone. 
Each person has to save himself first, 
then you can move in and help."
— Laurell K. Hamilton

I'm not sure exactly where things are. I mean, the physical things are in an old house and a new apartment, separate and really sad, actually. Packing up Amelia's things was one of the saddest things I've ever done. I had to stop a few times and breathe. 

But I'm not sure where emotional things are, where our hearts are. Sky acts as though this is a unpleasant vacation from which we will return with a little baggage, no tans, and a better direction as a married couple. I want to see it that way, but I'm too afraid to try and hope again. I have told Sky that there are some things I cannot compromise on. The ball is in his court, to say the least.

It's negative-something degrees outside. We moved while it was snowing. There are still lots of things to be moved, and even more to be unpacked and put away, but we're going about it slowly. 

When I have said anything to anyone else about the chances of getting back together with Sky after this, I've gotten two very different reactions; a nod, as if to say, "Of course you will." That person said we owed it to Amelia to try our hardest. (I agree.) The other person gave a bitter laugh, as if I was nuts to suggest it. They don't know how likely things are to change. I think both people are right in a way.

Anyhow, I meant to keep this post from getting too serious, and I've gone and done just that. So here's a picture from yesterday. While I hated going up and down staircases and sorting through belongings, Miss Millie wasn't too phased. She relaxed in a laundry basket last night while I put some things away...

1 kind comments from you:

Beka said...

aww, she's darling.

and isn't it weird when two people sound like they might both be right..... ?

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