January 7, 2011

Hush

"I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone." 


Millie's asleep on my lap again. We've been making a habit of this lately; I surf the internet, check Facebook, and blog, and she settles into me and slowly gets heavy. I should put her down in her crib to take a nice, long nap. But I need the company this morning. It's the closest thing to whatever kind of hug I feel in need of right now.

My mom's down the hall in her bedroom, chatting on the phone with someone and laughing occasionally. She asked me this morning if I needed to talk. She knows I've been sinking lower the past few days. I don't want to talk, not at all. I don't know why I'm able to write but not talk, yet that's the way it is.

I'm drinking coffee that's long gone cold, and thinking. I remember, once, a reader commented on something I wrote about a year ago. They thanked me for something like giving them hope that fairy tales exist.

I don't remember who wrote it or where it is, but to that reader-
I apologize.


4 kind comments from you:

McDancer said...

Your story is far from over. Besides, who wants those fairy tale princes (they're all kind of funny looking and usually have some serious mommy issues ;)
At least you are able to write, even if talking isn't there for you yet. Stay strong! *hugs*

Beka said...

Sleeping babies can be a wonderful sort of comfort..

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

You know I'm here but you also know there are no words that I can offer that will provide any sort of comfort or peace or magical bandaid for your heart. I'm always thinking about you dear.

jamila said...

*sending good vibes your way.*

that picture of you and millie on the right made my day; you two are beautiful :)

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