February 1, 2011

Goodnight


"No relationship is perfect, ever[...]
it's like a big pie chart, 
and the love in a relationship 
has to be the biggest piece. 
Love can make up for a lot."
— Sarah Dessen

The last night I posted was a rough one. I felt like things were bottoming out- not because of something particular that had happened, other than my frustration with our no-date-night. It was just a general, low, rotten feeling.

Feelings come and go, and I didn't expect Sky to notice, really. Later that night, though, he wrote me a long email. It wasn't really a love letter, but I'm the biggest sucker on earth for something that someone takes the time to write me. It's very rare that he would. I woke up and found it the next morning. After he was done at work, he drove over to see me. He was dressed up for no reason at all, clean shaven, smelling good, and just sat there with me, holding me to him. We were both in better moods than usual the rest of the day. I truly felt like we both gave our utmost effort, and I felt like that was rewarded.

I started to feel hope...for the first time since this summer. It didn't let me down when I woke up this morning to cold and ice, and it still hasn't. I miss him a bit. 

His sergeant called him last night. There is talk of a possible deployment in the next several hours due to the massive snowstorm, and while I don't worry for his safety (at least, like I would if he were going overseas), I actually take some comfort in the feeling of not wanting him to go. Both of us know that I haven't felt that way for the last several drill weekends. I had forgotten the feeling. I had forgotten what it felt like when there was more than just commitment.

The pictures above were taken a little over a year ago. It would be amazing if we could renew promises from that day. Maybe it's possible. I'm settling in to the warmth while looking out the window at blurry whiteness outside, and I feel like I could actually be okay. 
We could actually be okay. 


2 kind comments from you:

Beka said...

hmmmm. i kinda love this post.....to sound really unoriginal, the 'glimmer of hope' is what i like. something tiny in the midst of some sucky situations.

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I love the hope in this post.

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