April 30, 2011


"Say what you will, but you’re never prepared for the surprise attack."
— Sarah Dessen

He's not at war. He's driving humvees near riverbanks. He's checking IDs at entrances to tiny towns. He's watching sandbags stacked high, stepping through deep puddles in wet boots, getting up early and going to bed late. He's sleeping in a tent only a few hours from home. He's doing exactly what the National Guard is supposed to do.

With all that, with being grateful for just that, I still cannot pretend that it is easy not having him here. I miss him. And yet, there is some reassurance in missing him. Yes, you remember how to do this. Yes, you can get that feeling back.

When he got the phone call earlier this week, we were in the living room. He was lost in a video game, and I was happily typing away on my laptop. We had just put Millie in her crib and closed her door. It was a lazy night, and then, on the turn of a dime, he was pulling uniforms from the closet and stuffing his backpack full.

"Wait," I wanted to tell him, "we need to have a few day's notice. We need to spend more time together first." Instead, we went to bed, and when he was leaving early that next morning, I saw a silhouette of a soldier bend down and kiss me.

I think he gets as much comfort telling me where he is as I do in knowing.


P.S. A huge congratulations to Katie at Ben and Katie for winning the Best Milspouse Blog Award 2011! If anyone deserves it, it's this girl. Go read their courageous love story, and you'll see what I mean. And another huge thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for me- I am so honored to count you all as friends.

10 kind comments from you:

heart like mine said...


Dolli-Mama said...

I'm sorry your husband is gone. That is hard.

But... i love the new look. Your header and button are fantastic. You are really getting good at blog design.

Beka said...

sniff, sniff.
that part totally has me: "and when he was leaving early that next morning, I saw a silhouette of a soldier bend down and kiss me."
...oh boy.

Beka said...

p.s. going to check out that link for the love story:)

Ashley D. said...

Hang in there. What a beautiful post. *big hug*

Mowenackie said...

I wonder what it would be like in comparison if our husbands had never been to war. I guess we'll never know. But either way, I'm proud of them.

AGW said...

Hey, I wanted to return the favor and visit you.
The good bye kiss in the predawn hours of your hero...is a lovely and heartbreaking thing to experience. It doesn't matter if its a regular weekend drill, the safety of "tiny towns" or a year long overseas deployment...your hubby's gone. There is a hole in your life that should be filled. {{{{HUGS}}} from one ARNG wife to another.

AGW said...

oops...just read my post ment to say "by your hero"...I'm tired. ;-/

My Traveling Troop said...

It is definitely hard to be away from a loved one. Hang in there! And many thanks to your husband for all he does for this country!

Anonymous said...

its never easy, not matter how much time he is away.

Post a Comment