July 14, 2011

The (Bitter)Sweet Journey

There I was, standing in the party aisle at Target, tears smearing my mascara. I had decided, at 9pm on a Thursday night, that I needed a few things for Millie's birthday. (For the record, it's over two weeks away.)

I held a banner with pink cupcakes in one hand, and a basket with tissue paper and a card in the other. The card was what got me. Decorated with slices of cake and tiny candles, it read, "Enjoy the sweet journey of your life." I looked up at the other cards as they began to blur and my cheeks got wet.

Every time she does something new, my heart soars with a pride unlike anything I've ever felt with my own accomplishments. But always, a few seconds after the pride, a kind of bittersweet follows. Because I know the clock can't be turned back. She's instantly older, smarter. Less of a baby every second.

She's going to be one. She's going to be one, and no one told me it would hurt this much when they grow up. If they did tell me, I wouldn't have wanted to believe them anyway.

7 kind comments from you:

Gaile said...

Oh, it only gets harder from here on out! My youngest will be one soon, and my oldest is 21.....the day she started Kindergarten I was a complete wreck! And when she got her driver's license, just WOW. I didn't know my eyes could MAKE that many tears.
Pride, worry, heartache, and pure joy, all wrapped up in such a sweet little package.
Cherish every moment, because they really do disappear all too fast.

Ashley D. said...

So beautiful. It is so true. I look at Emma who just turned 2 a few months ago and I think, "When did you get so big?", "When did you start talking so much?", "When did you develop such a big personality for such a tiny person?". It's amazing. I think the sweetest part of the journey is getting the privilege of experiencing it all with them. Everything from their first steps to their first date. I think in a way it kind of makes the growing up easier, because at least we get to do it with them :)

vintch said...

goodness, you have a special way with words. i can just see you in the card aisle at target reading that card. what a special, sweet moment. your feelings just mean you're a loving, sweet mama and there's nothing wrong in the world with that. sometimes i cry when i think about pablo, and the short lives of dogs. totally, 100% different i know, but i am sharing in the realization that babies don't stay babies forever:) have a beautiful weekend, sweet friend!

Mrs.B said...

I feel like Em's first birthday was just yesterday, the fact that she'll be 3 in 4 months blows my mind.
You're such a great mama, and she's such a lucky little girl!

beka said...

you wrote this post so well.

Chantal said...

Two of my friends' babies just turned one. They said it was harder than they could've imagined!

MrsMike said...

They seriously do grow up so fast. I guess I have a little bit of a benefit with a child with a delay - he is still so babyish since he can't talk and just makes sweet baby cooing noises still lol. But he sure doesn't act like a baby! The best part of their growing little lives is watching things "click"... when they figure something out, when they finally understand something - I love watching things "click".

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