"Wrinkles and bones, white hair and diamonds: I can't wait."
— Truman Capote
— Truman Capote
I ran the straightening iron down the length of my hair, trying to hurry so we could be out the door in time for the birthday dinner with my family. I was leaning forward to fasten my necklace when I looked into the mirror and saw Sky in the hall. He was kneeling down, and had Millie propped on his knee.
Neither of us remember the one or two sentences he rushed through. But his proposal went something like, "There's one more thing you should wear tonight. Will you continue to be my wife?" He slid the ring onto my finger. Millie seemed oblivious to the whole thing. He held my hand in the car, and it rubbed against his palm.
I stared at that ring the rest of the night. I couldn't believe how much it glittered, even in the dim streetlight on the way home. It's still in the newness phase, so I have been taking it off to do dishes and take a shower. I keep waking up surprised to find it on my finger. Usually, I like simple, almost invisible jewelry- the smaller, the better- but this vintage-y romantic style takes my breath away. I love that it's a ring worthy of passing down to Millie or her children someday.
Does a big part of my heart feel foolish wearing a diamond ring when we are struggling with money so much? Absolutely. It's hard not to feel guilty. I contemplated selling it at one point, but Sky refused, and hid it away so I wouldn't. It's something he'd insisted on since this past winter, and when our tax refund came, we used part of it for rings. We got very inexpensive bands again, stuck to a budget, bought it on sale, and didn't get it from one of the big, expensive jewelry stores. If I sound like I'm trying to justify it to the world and to myself, it's because I am.
I also can't pretend that we are at 100% just because a ring adorns my finger. But we are trying. A lasting marriage is rarer than perfect diamonds. And I realize now that the reason diamonds and promises tend to come early in relationships is because the promises need to be in place before it gets rough- because, in some way or another, it inevitably will. The ring is supposed to be there as a reminder of those promises.
And now we both have them- new reminders of renewed promises. It's a pretty beautiful thing.