Marriage- I haven't written much on the subject since Valentine's Day. A whole week's silence is unlike me, isn't it? The summing up-Sky and I are both working hard on things. I think I will be moving home soon. I feel like most things are moving forward.
We discussed using our tax refund to buy new wedding bands, and to get a diamond ring for me. At the mall the other night, we wandered into one of several jewelry stores. The saleslady smiled at a noisy Amelia, and asked if we were getting engaged. "No," I shook my head, "We're already married. Just needing new bands." "Oh," she said, pulling out different trays with beautiful wedding sets. When Sky tried on a band similar to the one he already wears, she mentioned that we might not need to buy him a new band- "unless," she said, "there is a reason?" Neither of us said anything.
There are a lot of things I want, more than a shiny ring, and a lot of things I miss. They are worth so much more than any diamond that store could sell. Because I miss the boy who looked me in the eye and meant everything that look held. I miss the girl who could look back. I don't know if that boy ever existed, or if he did for a while and quickly faded. But I want that man to be my husband. I hope that's the boy who will be proposing again and slipping a ring onto my finger. (And, by the way- he is the one demanding I have a ring. I am the one demanding a new proposal.)
What we don't know is so vast...where life will take us, who we'll be 20 years down the road, how many children or jobs or cars we'll have...but the one thing that should be-must be- constant is our love. Heartaches from outside forces (deployments, money stress, etc.) can be handled. Heartaches from each other should be few to none.