This Weekend

The first sergeant sat behind in desk, looking alarmingly relaxed in his grey sweatsuit. He leaned back in the leather swivel chair, telling Sky he'd be approved for new uniforms, then recalled his own thinner days with wistful eyes. His office displayed a few model airplanes and a helmet in ACU fabric. Millie sat on my lap, pointing at the sad, fake flowers squished into vases.

We met with him on Monday. He answered all my questions, giving me assurances of Sky's safety and his unlikeliness of deployment for at least a couple years. (He had apparently forgotten that I had been an infantry soldier's spouse and sister). I pretended to go along with the story he spun, and assured him that I was on board with the decision to join the Reserves- I just wanted details on the school Sky would be attending.

He called in another soldier dressed in camo, who explained to me, in a thick, Alabama accent, what schooling would entail. He mentioned two options- the active Army school in Georgia, where Sky would spend at least half a year attending, or some sort of Reserves school that would keep him away for only a few weeks. He explained how much nicer the Reserves school could be, since we'd see each other so much.

And this is where I bit my lip.

When we first began talking about the possibility of a long AIT, I had lots of conflicting thoughts. There were two big thoughts though-I'll elaborate on the second one down the road, if/when this all becomes reality- but the first one was, "No more debt." School means paying off the two debts we have, which would free up a lot of income as well as give us so much more peace of mind about the future. I can't begin to tell you how happy I'd be if it were gone. It would be life altering for us.

We shut the car doors, Sky turned the key, and we began talking about the options. And though part of my heart felt crazy, I told him I thought he should go. That he should do the 6 or 7 months of school states away from here. I told him, if he was going to be gone, I'd rather him make the money sitting in a classroom where I wouldn't have to worry about him every day like a deployment. (And yes, I know that would be down the road.) More than likely, I wouldn't move there during his schooling, but maybe that's the sacrifice we make to have a brighter future.

He goes in this weekend to speak to the unit command. They will ask him about his PT test, and if they officially approve him, he'll sign all the paperwork that day. He'll walk in a veteran, and walk out a soldier again. He'll be back in his uniform, attach new patches on his velcro, and be drilling. And once he passes his PT, he'll be approved to start school.

I'm nervous about this weekend, of course. Nervous that they won't approve him for whatever reason. Nervous that they will, and life will change a little. But for a long time, it had felt to me like God had forgotten this family (I know he hadn't, but feelings are feelings.) Finally, this feels like we could get back on track- towards a lot of dreams and goals, towards a better job for Sky in the future, and, of course, towards seeing that boy in his boots again.