February 15, 2012

It's Okay to Need Roses


Valentine's Day has come and gone. More than once that day, I read about how girls didn't need anything special because their guy is so great. And while I appreciate the sentiment, I couldn't exactly feel the same way. While I have a great husband, the truth is, I did need something.

There are two reasons for it. Several months ago, Sky and I took quick online tests to find out our "love languages". The phrase sounds pretty cheesy to me, but the tests were interesting. Sky scored the highest in Quality Time and Physical Touch. And what I needed most? Acts of Service, followed by Receiving Gifts. When I first thought about that score, I disagreed a little- someone doesn't need to spend piles of cash for me to feel loved! But a gift doesn't have to cost anything. A handwritten letter would mean just as much. It's not that I'm materialistic- it just happens to be one of the ways I feel love. Hanging out with Sky and cuddling on the couch makes him feel loved. When he helps with chores or surprises me with a package of Junior Mints, I feel loved.

The other reason I needed something? To be honest, it's because of the relationship Sky and I have now. After all we've been though, I'm not the quite the same girl he married. The hits my heart took during everything that happened changed me, and this new girl needs more affirmation. I need the reminders that he loves me. It's not that I think he doesn't- he goes to work to provide for me and for Millie, and he's sweet. It's also not that I beg him for constant reassurance. But when I happen get that reassurance, my heart softens a little each time.

I figured he wouldn't even realize it was Valentine's Day. He ended up buying himself the gift I had planned for him. He doesn't like strawberries or chocolate, so that was out. It seemed like the day was going to feel like a disappointment, and when I opened my eyes that morning, I was hoping it would go quickly by. When I opened the bedroom door, though, Sky was dressing Millie in her snowsuit and heading out the door. I heard Millie announce "WOWERS!" (flowers) when they walked back in, and she handed me a beautiful red rose. Sky followed her with a whole vase of them and a kiss for me. He had ordered them days before and just ran to pick them up at the florist.

One rose would have done the work of all of them. But what I'm most thankful for is that he knows me. He knows that a girl like me does need Valentine's Day, and that I do need that one extra reminder of his love. I'm okay with needing it. And I married the right guy, because he knows I do.

And as it turned out, I had a perfect Valentine's Day.

13 kind comments from you:

Kathryn said...

I love love love this post and totally agree. Thank you for posting this!

Jenn said...

So sweet how he involved your daughter! :) I'll admit that I'm one of the ones who doesn't like for her husband to buy flowers on V-Day, but he is also the one running out to WALMART last minute and picking some half-dead bouquet of crap that is ridiculously marked up. Now if he went to the trouble of going to an actual FLORIST and planning this out IN ADVANCE... Well. That would be a different kind of story. ;)

PS. We also took the Love Languages test and my husband did not come out with the scores that I thought he would! Interesting test!!

Ashley said...

I am glad you got some beautiful flowers!
P.S. I have read the love language book and it has definitely helped!

HeWearsCombatBoots said...

I totally agree!! I'm the kind of girl that needs flowers but my husband hasn't gotten that yet. But he did cook me a super late dinner and let me lay in bed to rest while he took care of the kids...and that meant the world.

Michelle said...

I absolutely love this. I'm the exact same way, and my husband and I actually have the same love languages as you and Sky do. I always treasure those tangible affirmations of love. It's ok to need roses, and it's good to know that I'm not alone in needing roses :)

So glad your day was a good one!

annoyed army wife said...

Oh, and those roses are so pretty! I almost got a bunch of roses for the house today - they were only $5!! You can't beat that price! But I opted for a brownie instead.

Fran said...

Beautiful flowers! And I'm the same way haha :)

Ashley said...

I'm the same way, I don't need piles of cash, but I do need for my husband to express his love for me. I also like for him to tell me "thank you" and "you're beautiful". I need him to affirm his love for me with his words too. I guess I'm needy like that! I love your flowers by the way! SO pretty! :)

Melissa Jaine said...

I've read one of the Love Languages books, they're very interesting. And your writing, as always, is beautiful. :)
mj.x

greaterexp said...

What a lovely way to convey love languages in action! Would that more couples really understood that! It's not much use attempting to show our love by what we, ourselves, want; we can tire ourselves out with little result doing that. It's thrilling to hear of a couple that understands this very important concept. Thank you for sharing.

Chantal said...

I agree! Our love languages are both Physical, so we just need a hug ;)

beka said...

that love languages thing is fascinating! gosh!
and it's funny, because i think i read somewhere that we *sometimes* tend to give/show love in the same way as we like to receive it...i can tell, because anna and lyd adore and get so psyched up and go all out with gifts. they have the best brains eeeeever for gift-giving; spontaneous or planned-ahead. me? i suck most of the time.
it just kinda makes sense.
but i need to work on it, obviously. :P

anyhow...
i truly loved this post. :)

The New "Normal" said...

Beautiful! I'm so happy that it was a wonderful Valentine's Day for you! I've never read the Love Languages, maybe it's something to give a try because I have a feeling J and I have VERY different languages! Is it a book, or an online thing?

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