February 4, 2012

Pox


A few nights ago, I lifted Millie out of her bath and saw that her legs were covered in red bumps, though they hadn't been just hours before. When they looked worse the next morning, we decided to take her in to the doctor. While we thought it could be chickenpox, he said he wasn't sure because she didn't have a fever.

Later that afternoon, we were at the library picking out a prize for her completing the reading program (she got an inflatable penguin). I pressed my cheek against her head and it seemed to nearly singe my skin. She was obviously sick. We took her temperature at home, and found it had gone from normal to 103 in a very short amount of time. The red dots were spreading to more of her body, and her cheeks were flushed. There's a certain sickness you feel in the pit of your stomach when you know your child isn't well.

When I was 4 or 5, I came down with the chickenpox (and lovingly gave it to my younger brother, too). Though I don't remember much, I do recall feeling generally miserable and always itchy. No matter what the illness, though, I had my mom. She was also a registered nurse, so she knew what she was doing when she took care of us. Any memories of being sick are also memories of chicken noodle soup, cans of Sprite, cold washcloths folded up for our foreheads, and, more than anything, the comfort of knowing she would always be there for us. Anything we needed, we had only to call out, "Mom."

Just two days before those red bumps began popping up, Millie finally said it. She's been able to say "mama" for months, of course, and she knew it meant me, but she had never said it of her own accord. I couldn't understand how she could walk past Sky and say "Daddy" but wouldn't say my name- the name of the person she's around the most. But suddenly, out of the blue, she called for me one night. "Mama," she said. My heart was a puddle.

And last night, reaching into her crib to wake her up for another dose of medicine, her eyes fluttered open. "Mama," she sighed. I realized that I may not have a nursing degree, and I don't know the half of what my mom knew to do, but I had finally been pronounced a mother. It's the best qualification I could have in days like this.

I hate that she's sick. I hate that this first real illness of hers scares me a bit. If I could, I would take those spots away from her in a heartbeat. But because there's no doing that, I'm glad that she is finally using the word she needs to call me. The silver lining in it all is that she can rest in the comfort of her mama.

And somehow, I'm blessed enough to have that name.

15 kind comments from you:

The New "Normal" said...

I'm so sorry that she's not feeling well, but she sure does have a wonderful Mama to help make her feel better. I hope that the spots and fever go away soon!

Noelani said...

This post melted my heart. Being a mother is such a beautiful feeling, no doubt. It's unfortunate that she's sick, and there's not much you can do to change that ... but I'm sure it's a beautiful sound when hearing her say 'mama' :)

Lydia said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. It was the same with my son, with the "mama" and "daddy" thing. I remember the day he finally purposely called out for me. One morning, I was woken up to "mama!" coming through the baby monitor. I sprang up and went into his room. The moment he saw me, he said it again! I cried; I was so happy. Hearing them say it directly to you just melts you into an enormous puddle. I'm sorry Millie is sick. :( I hope she gets better soon!

Dani said...

Poor miss Millie! I hope she gets to feeling better soon!

Reccewife said...

Awe, how sweet. Makes me remember how great it was to hear it the first time. Even now, when I'm at the point I've told my kids I'm changing my name to anything BUT 'mom' cause I'm so sick of hearing it :P
Hope she feels better soon!

Deanna said...

I wish Addison would say mama. SO jealous! (-:
btw, a friend of mine (who is newly pregnant) just found out that her immunity to chicken pox expired, so she is freaking out- not hanging out with any unvacc kids. Did you know that immunity could expire? I had no idea! Anyway, hope Millie feels better soon (and that she doesn't share!)

Amanda said...

My mother was the same way. Knew exactly what to do when one of us was sick. I can't imagine feeling needed by a young person, but I think it would be one of the best feelings ever. She's your baby and you are her Momma, and that's just how it is! I hope she feels better soon.

Bonnie said...

:( I hope Millie feels better soon!!! There are few things that are sadder then a sick babe :(

Chantal said...

Ugh I hate when the kids are sick!! But having chicken pox now means she probably won't have it later.

Annie said...

Poor little thing, I hope she feels better soon! I'm sorry she has the chicken pox, but I am happy you are now mama ;)

beka said...

cue the lingering sighs and awww's.
yeah, i hate when littles are sick...but yep-yep-yep, this is sweet.

ginanorma said...

oooooh pooooor honey, hugs and love from MN, praying she's better real soon ! Sweet baby girl! It's SO hard when they are sick, hang in there mommy!

Jenn said...

So well-written!

My son is finally saying "mamamamama" but hasn't said it TO me yet, so while it still makes my heart skip a beat, I'm waiting for the day that he truly asks for ME. :)

I hope your little girl feels better soon. Nothing worse than a sick baby. They just don't know why they feel the way they do and all you wanna do is MAKE IT BETTER. You're doing great though!

Amanda C. said...

poor thing! I hope she feels better soon!

____j said...

I hate that she had the pox! That is so miserable. I wonder how she even got them? I just hope she's all better now!

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