R & R

(during R & R)

3 years ago. It doesn't seem like it, but it was- March 18, 2009.

It was Sky's last night of R&R. I had driven the two hours back down to his town the second I got home from work, throwing on the first pair of clean jeans I could find. We wanted to spend just a few more hours together before he had to wake up in the morning and get on a plane bound for Afghanistan again. The details are a little more hazy now, but I do remember drinking half a beer at the pool hall down the street, and spending most of the time in his living room with his mom, step-dad, and brother. He and his brother would call out silly answers to the Jeopardy game on TV, and I remember laughing but feeling a bit heartbroken that it would be ending so soon.

Dusk had settled hours ago, and the moon was out. I was supposed to be at work early the next morning, but Sky persuaded me to stay. Everyone said goodnight, dimming the lights and going their separate ways, and Sky and I tried to fit onto the living room couch. I set the alarm on my phone, knowing I wouldn't be sleeping that night anyway.

Instead, we talked. I don't remember what about, but we talked for hours. We would look up at the ceiling for a moment, and then back at each other. And after a lot of talk, at around 2am that morning, Sky asked me to be his girlfriend. My mouth said, "Of course." My heart said, "At last."

At around 4:30 that morning, in the cold and damp, he walked me out to the curb and stood next to my car. He handed me one of his t-shirts to take home with me. We hugged, and I was scared to let go- scared that if I didn't hug him enough, I wouldn't remember it. Scared that something could happen and I might not be able to ever hug him again. He wiped a few tears from my face, and I silently cursed myself for crying in front of him. But we finally said our goodbyes, and I drove the two hours home alternately sobbing and blinking hard to stay awake.

I sat at my desk later that morning, answering phones slowly and sipping a Starbucks. My eyes burned from keeping my contacts in so long, and my mind was fuzzy. When they asked me if it was worth losing all that sleep, I said yes. When they asked if I really liked that boy, I said, "I really do. And I cannot wait to see him again."

And now, I see him every day.