Currently.

 Currently...

Thinking about: Marriage. We've been going to counseling for a few weeks now, and it's gone past introductions and the "tell me about your childhood" type of stuff, and into the stuff that makes the five minute ride home feel like five hundred minutes. I need it to help. I need everything to be fixed. But every part of me dreads these appointments. Sky will be leaving for a couple months soon, and we won't be able to do phone or internet counseling sessions, so there will be a break from it. And really, I don't even know what I think about that. It's uncomfortable to keep writing about this, to tell you truthfully, but writing is what I do when things hurt. 

Also? Thinking about winter. I'm ready to fold it up and put it away. Time for weather chilly enough for a Snuggie, but warm enough that my breath doesn't freeze instantly and hit me in the face.

Reading: "I'm Taking a Trip on My Train". It's a book Millie got from the library, and she can't get enough of it. I don't read for myself these days, other than a few blogs. I miss it- miss it terribly some days- but I've decided if I only have limited time, I need to spend it catching up with the bloggers I care about and writing for myself, because those things do my heart a lot of good. Soon enough, Millie and Walter will grow, and there will be time for more than a poem here or there, or a frenzied spree through Goodreads quotes. That's what I should buy right now, come to think of it- poetry. Commence Amazon browsing.

Listening to: A train rumble by our house. And before that, a message on my phone from a friend cheering me up. And before that, Millie reading that danged book. But overall, I've been listening to some Regina Spektor on my own, and lots of oldies when the kids are up. I have noticed that keeping music on for part of the day greatly improves all of our moods, and oldies are good because A- they generally have decent lyrics, and B- most songs are familiar to me and easy to learn for Millie. Today, I sang while she drummed with Tinker Toys. Walter seemed to appreciate the atmosphere, as he usually does.

Watching: Downton Abbey. Other than that, I couldn't name five other shows on TV right now. It's not that I don't love getting lost in a good movie plot or TV script; it's that there are so few I've even liked lately, let alone loved. It has been ages since I've been to the theater and felt like it was worth paying $9 to see a show. I'm sure that sounds incredibly old, but I'm turning 30 in September. Youngsters and their shows these days.

Thankful for: Coffee. Friends who exchange emails, texts, and Vox messages with me. The easy days with Millie. Pizza and Mexican food. A quiet house at the end of the day. Jesus. The feeling that comes from a random act of kindness. Pineapple upside down cake that my dad baked. Finding new favorite recipes. Every single expression Walter makes. My mom letting me cry on the phone sometimes. Bud Light. Comfy-skinny-baggy sweatpants. The very rare days it isn't snowing/ -20 degrees here. The promise of spring. Starbucks, which saves many a day. A Snuggie, which is my new favorite thing (only about 5 or 10 years behind trends!). Getting photos taken this week, which is a combination of Walter's extremely late 6 month photos, catching up with Millie's photos, and maybe a couple of all of together. (We're getting them done with the same lady who did my maternity pictures and Walter's hospital pictures, and I can't say enough great things about her.)

{Linking up with A Mama Collective today. Do check out the blog- they've been so sweet in featuring some of my posts, and I've loved what the girls have written, as well as the posts from other blogs they often share.}