November 2, 2012

Honestly


In the interest of being open and honest, I need to share this.

This week has been really rough for our family. Two years ago, Sky and I went through something in our marriage, and I honestly didn't know how (or if) we'd make it through. This week, I found out we're going through them again now. And truthfully, I don't know how we'll do it all over.

Between all the rest of life right now- the news of a new baby and the struggling with all those first trimester symptoms, full time school, watching Millie, working, and caring for my home, I feel overwhelmed. I don't have the energy to handle this, physically or emotionally. I was just treading water with it all before- and this storm blew in out of nowhere. It feels about as good as a punch to the gut.

It's strange- I have a post saved in drafts, all about marriage. I was going to tell you how I have gotten dozens of emails behind the scenes of this blog. So many people are going through rough times in their relationships, and they've confided in me about it. It's very humbling, and it reminds me that no marriage will ever be perfect. Some of those marriages have lasted. Others have faded.

I just didn't think I'd be needing advice like them so soon. I thought we were strong again. And we aren't.

If you pray, I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you.

36 kind comments from you:

Allie said...

Praying for you lovely. Please feel free to email me if you need anything.

Jane said...

I'm so sorry hun. Know, if you need a Hawaiian getaway you have somewhere to stay. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. If you need anything I'm an email away.

Clearbluewater3 said...

Hugs. There is a futon sofa here in Seattle with you and Millie and the new baby's name on it if you ever want to escape. Holding you in the light and love that this storm will not drown you. It reminds me of one of my favorite phrases "fluctuat nec mergitur" which means "she is tossed by the waves but does not drown".

The New Normal said...

Praying for you. If you need to talk, vent, or just someone to yell at, I'm here for ya! I can't say I always have the best advice to give out, but I can say I am a pretty darn good listener and am always willing to do so for a friend :) Stay strong my friend. Easier said than done, I know, but keep pushing through. And take care of yourself too.

Marcella{The Life of a Military Family} said...

Praying...

Dani said...

Sending lots of love and kind thoughts your way.

Michelle said...

Oh Erika, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Please know I'm praying for you. Praying right now and I'll continue to. You've got a place in Ohio to escape to if you ever need it. I'm here for you! You've got my number...use it whenever you need a friend!

erin said...

Praying for you Erika <3

Amanda said...

You are in my thoughts girl! Stay strong!!!

Erin said...

I think we've all been there. That's why I don't tend to really embrace bloggers (or take them with a grain of salt) that make out their marriages to be rainbows and sunshine. We've had a roller coaster of a marriage, but have managed to pull through some very dark moments. I hope that you have the same happy ending. *hugs*

Jenn said...

Oh girl. :( I see folks offering up beds and couches, so now I don't feel weird saying you've got a ROOM (that's right, an entire room) ready here for you in Tuckasee if you want it. (Clean sheets and everything, but you'll have to share a bathroom with people who pee in the tub, I'm so sorry.) We're within driving distance too! Sam and Millie are the same age... Pinching Molly's thighs makes people smile... Just sayin. Come on down anytime. You're in my prayers.

jax from the harmon squad said...

Big hugs and lots of prayers!!! And I'm so sorry you have to go through this! And while you may not feel like it, you are SO strong and I know you will make it through (whatever the outcome) with courage and grace. Also, a nice long hot shower (as in, use up ALL the hot water) is amazing when I'm going through a tough time. It doesn't make anything better, but it feels good.

Doc's Girl said...

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this again.

You're definitely in my prayers. I've been in your shoes, and I'm happy to listen, lend an ear as a sounding board, or tell you what worked for me.

Jen said...

Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. You are incredibly strong and you can get through it.

Birdie said...

Praying for your whole family. I'm so sorry Erika, truly my heart hurts for you. I personally don't have any positive examples in my life of lasting marriages and my own always seems to be a little bi-polar. I don't have any advice. l am sending my love your way though

Birdie said...

Praying for your whole family. I'm so sorry Erika, truly my heart hurts for you. I personally don't have any positive examples in my life of lasting marriages and my own always seems to be a little bi-polar. I don't have any advice. l am sending my love your way though

Fran said...

I love you, son. You have my number <3

Kim said...

Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way. <3

stacyfiore said...

Praying for you and your family <3

Kaylee said...

Oh Erika, I'm sorry things are so hard and overwhelming right now. I will be praying for you, your family, your marriage. Wish I could give you a big hug right now.

Mrs.B said...

I am so sorry. Sending lots of thoughts & prayers for you, your family, and your marriage. HUGS.

Chantal said...

You guys are in my thoughts. If you need someone to chat with, you know where to find me!

andthenwelaughed said...

Thoughts and prayers. Remain focused on the future and don't be afraid to put you, Millie, and #2 first. Hugs.

Karen

Karen said...

Sending hugs, love and prayers your way. You are an amazing and strong wonderful woman. Don't ever forget that. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm only an email away. Hugs to you and Millie!

Holly said...

Praying. My husband and I have been through this basically the whole time we've been together. We recently made some changes that have tremendously improved things and we are really on the right path together now, not that there won't be more bumps along the way. But yes, I think sometimes we all get to that point where we wonder if we are going to last, even more than once.

Bethany said...

Though I'm not sure what is going on, please know that I'm praying for you right now! I am so sorry you have such a heavy weight on your shoulders during what is suppose to be a happy, joyous time with your pregnancy. Hang in there. If you ever need to vent, you have lots of people who will listen, myself included. Hugs!

____j said...

You are such a strong woman. I know things may be hard now, but you will pull through. Things may not go the way you think they should, but remember, God has bigger plans for you!

beka said...

i'm so sorry to hear/read this, dear....i'll be praying. <3

Mrs. K said...

I'm so sorry to read this. I'm adding you to my prayer list right now. You've got a lot going on and it must be so stressful. We're lifting you up in prayer here!

ginanorma said...

I have had SUCH a hard month. I am so glad November is here to hopefully have a better month, but who knows, ....

but I am SO so behind, you are pregnant?!!! Erika, congratulations, I have so missed out on blogs for awhile now, but I hope to catch up here.

what on earth, girl if I can help, my marriage has been through the ringer, as you know...so I am here for you as always.

praying.

xo glad you shared and opened up.

Mel said...

I'm so sorry you are hurting. Consider yourself hugged.

Anna Lynne said...

Praying for you.

keri said...

Thinking of you. Sending hugs and prayers

ash said...

i've been praying for you, friend. God is faithful, and you are loved.

and congratulations on that baby of yours. so excited for you. ♥

Jamie said...

Hang in there. Sending positive thoughts your way.

jakofhearts said...

Love you. If you need to talk, you know where to find me. ((hugs))

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