August 10, 2013

At First Glance


"A few days after we came home from the hospital, I sent a letter to a friend, 
including a photo of my son and some first impressions of fatherhood. 
He responded, simply, 'Everything is possible again.' 
It was the perfect thing to write, because that was exactly how it felt. 
The world itself had another chance." 
— Jonathan Safran Foer

Baby Walter is already six weeks old. I have another post, half written now, about how it is being a mother the second time around, but this loose grasp on time is what I was most prepared for, and probably mourned the most as well. I inhale, and before I let go of that breath, he's older; he's doing new things he couldn't do yesterday, and defying any urging from my heart to stay little. It's the way it should be, and the way I knew it would be, so I try my hardest to be present for every second I can.

The ghosts I wrote of are still there. There have been a few days where it's nearly all I think of, and other days where it's just a flash here and there. I'm starting to accept the why of it all; because, however small the chance, handing him over to that surgery staff meant the possibility of letting him go. And that possibility is too much for any mama's heart. I think it is just going to take time for my heart to catch up to my mind, to know he is okay, and here, and safe.

But he's already growing so much since that day. He's stronger and healthier than ever, and just as sweet, too. And when I picked up Millie from her Sunday school class tonight, we started down the hallway when she asked, "Where's Walter?" She's been loving and caring towards him from the start, and now it seems to be sinking in that he's our family.

In honor of these past six weeks, here are the hospital photos we had taken. They are by the same photographer who did my maternity photos. I had no idea I would love them so much, but they're quite possibly my favorite photos of the four of us, even if they're not all together. That 36 hours spent on a postpartum floor was full of the same elation I felt when Millie was born, but it was amazing to introduce her to Walter, to see my family grow even more, and to feel the surprise and shock of having a son. I am so glad it was captured a bit for us.





























17 kind comments from you:

Jenn said...

These photos are incredible!! I love them all and I can see why you do too. :)

Holly G said...

Truly stunning photos. How very beautiful! Congratulations on your growing family!

I am actually an old follower of yours, but I have a brand new blog and I would be so grateful if you would help me begin again by coming over to follow me here: Desert Momma

Thank you so much!

Little Misses Kate said...

Oh my heart, I love this so much. And I echo so many of those feelings. Patenting tinies is such a wonder.

Allison said...

I love this and couldn't agree more! As a first time mom, I had no idea I would be in constant emotional confusion. I find myself continually mourning the stages she grows out of but also really looking forward to her entering new stages. I just think she is already growing too fast!

Chantal said...

I love the photos!!

Marcella{The Life After "Trust Me"} said...

Truly precious!!

Fran said...

These photos are so precious!

Alissa said...

Congratulations! Your son is beautiful, and so are the photos. I especially love the one of you and your husband laying on the bed with your son between you. So precious.

Allie said...

These photos are so so beautiful!!! I love them so much! If we ever get around to having children I hope I get some even half as good as these (:

Karen said...

Those are beautiful pictures! And they definitely grow too fast.

Dani said...

Those are so adorable! The cuteness sparks a small twinge in the ovaries.... then I'm back to normal :)

Jen said...

Oh just absolutely amazing my sweet friend! Such blessed children they are to have 2 wonderful parents who love them so much. :)

KelseyB said...

These pictures are so amazingly beautiful!

Semper Wifey said...

Everything about this post is beautiful! :)

blm said...

this post is beautiful--all of it. thanks so much for sharing your journey with all of us.

Mrs.B said...

He looks so much like Millie in a few of the pictures! Love them all.

Brittney Liann said...

I love all these photos. <3 She did a wonderful job and your little family is just too cute. :)

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